Haven’t blogged in forever. Although it’s been necessary for my sanity in the past, I just haven’t been able to do it as much as I used to.
I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions because it’s so easy to say you’re going to do something and New Year’s Resolutions always seem to fail. So, I’m not making any resolutions. However, there are things I’m going to attempt.
First, I’m going to attempt to get back to blogging more. It helps to vent out your frustrations, fears, etc. sometimes. At least it’s a way of getting it out without listening to judgment. I guess people can comment with judgment but it’s not the same to me. We all deal with things different ways and blogging was my way for a while. Besides, sometimes it’s just easier than actually talking to a real-life person. And, honestly, people are busy and you can’t always talk to an actual person. Talking is overrated….
Next, I’m attempting to dump selfish people out of my life. I don’t think I’m more important than anyone else, so why should I let someone else act like THEY are, either? It’s stupid.
One of the most important things I’m attempting is cutting down on effort. I haven’t quite figured out why I continue to make effort when others don’t make any at all. Everyone is not like this, but relationships should be balanced & effort should be equal on both sides. Sure, there may be times when one makes more effort than another, but it shouldn’t be on regular basis. I just don’t want to find myself feeling like a complete idiot at the end of THIS year, like I ended 2009. I don’t trust easily and I’m starting to trust even less and it’s not a great feeling.
Finally, no more users, abusers, or losers in my life. People who know me know I’d do anything for anybody. However, I’ve learned the hard way that there are some who take advantage and when they’re done getting whatever they want/need from you they disappear. I’ll always give. That’s just part of who I am. But, if someone can’t be the same with me whether I have something they want or not, they can move right along. That was a really hard lesson I don’t need to go through again.
I really want to see the best in people. I try. I get paranoid because of my past so it makes me crazy sometimes. But, at the same time, I expect consistency. It’s hard to believe what someone tells you when they’ve promised to be there for you, yet they NEVER return texts, phone calls, etc. It is understandable that people are busy…sometimes. But to NEVER respond to someone who you claim as a friend is beyond ridiculous. It’s also hard to trust people who treat you one way, yet treat others differently. It’s very confusing, hurtful, and frustrating. I can never tell where I stand anymore and it makes me shutdown sometimes and I don’t like it.
So, this year I HOPE to cut down some of the crap in my life. I don’t consider it a “resolution”, just a constant belief that things CAN change. We’ll see if this is the year that it actually happens.