It’s hard to reconcile in your head how people who ‘love’ you and who are supposed to really know you can talk to you certain ways and think it’s acceptable.
People get angry and don’t think and I get that. But, for someone to yell at you for something so asinine and juvenile and think that it’s just going to go away without an apology? It doesn’t. Forgiveness without an apology is not the problem. It’s just hard to forget.
In order to have permission to yell at me without an apology later only comes if I have murdered a friend or family member. Otherwise, you don’t get away with yelling at me. There is a switch that goes off inside me when someone yells at me for something. If I don’t know you, I might laugh in your face. If you’re a friend, I might not talk to you again until you apologize. If you’re a close friend, I might continue to talk to you, but the pain is still there and it stays there. It doesn’t just ‘go away’ over time.
Sometimes people don’t think or care about how they’ve hurt someone. They think things will just eventually blow over and things will be forgotten. Part of our loyalty to our friends is either stopping and thinking before we speak or at least having enough respect for our friends to say ‘I’m sorry’. If I even think I’ve hurt a friend, I apologize, whether I think I owe one or not. It’s just really hurtful how someone can KNOW how bad you feel about something but they completely ignore it, hoping time will heal those wounds. Some wounds are too deep for time to heal.
Sometimes, we’re foolish enough to think that people will eventually come around and do the right thing. Waiting only increases the pain, though.
Time doesn’t always heal everything. Sometimes, it increases the pain.