Don’t Believe Your Own Press…

It’s funny to listen to people brag about how ‘smart’ or ‘cool’ they are. It’s especially funny when the person is a bum.

Obviously, people have different ideas of what ‘smart’ and ‘cool’ are. My idea of being smart is taking responsibility for yourself, your children, etc. Some people think taking advantage of people, cheating the government, and getting away with anything they can is smart. The problem is, sooner or later, the reality of life has a way of coming back to bite you in the ass and say “not so fast”.

Lying to yourself about how smart or cool you are doesn’t change reality. You may truly believe that you are the smartest and coolest person in the world. Just watch out for that reality check that is waiting for you just around the corner.

The Bottom Line (Author Unknown)

This has been one of my favorites for many years:


The Bottom Line

FACE IT, nobody owes you a living.
What you achieve, or fail to achieve in your lifetime
Is directly related to what you do or fail to do.
No one chooses his parents or childhood,
But you can choose your own direction.
Everyone has problems and obstacles to overcome,
But that, too, is relative to each individual.
You can change anything in your life
If you want to badly enough.
Excuses are for losers! Those who take responsibility for their actions
Are the real winners in life.
Winners meet life challenges head on
Knowing there are guarantees, and give it all they’ve got
And never think it’s too late or too early to begin.
Time plays no favorites
And will pass whether you act or not
Take control of your LIFE
Dare to Dream and take risks……
If you aren’t willing to work for your goals Don’t expect others to.


Do You Read Yourself?

I have to wonder sometimes if people really read what they write, especially on social media sites (Twitter, Facebook, etc.). If they do actually read what they write, do they see how crazy they are or do they see themselves as normal?

Social media provides a great outlet for when we feel we need to rant or just express an opinion publicly, but it also provides an avenue for the mentally unbalanced to seek out attention from whomever they can get to fall for it.

How many people have you seen TAG people in tweets with pictures of their cats or any pet for that matter? The only people who MIGHT care about seeing cute pics of your cats are MAYBE close friends who may have cats themselves…or even people who might actually follow you on twitter. Otherwise, no one cares about cute pics of your damn cats. If someone doesn’t follow you on twitter, it should be a sign that they don’t care about ANYTHING you have to say, much less about pics of your stupid animals.

While I have been known to tweet about a bad day I’m having, it’s more of just an outlet for me. Others do it hoping that someone will feel sorry for them. Twitter, specifically, is 140 characters for a reason. If your tweets are so long that twitlonger or other similar programs are picking up your long ass “poor me” posts, you might want re-think what you’re writing. If you still think what you’re writing is ‘normal’ get a blog, then direct those who WANT to read your whining to said blog.

I understand that people need an outlet to vent. I like having an outlet to vent, personally, whether it’s on Twitter, Facebook, Blogging, etc. Writing is a great outlet to keep yourself sane. There is a point, however, when people need to stop and decide if what they are writing is to help themselves get something out, or if it’s an attempt at getting false sympathy or attention that they are lacking in their lives. I do get some of my amusement from reading others attempts at attention, especially when it’s so blatant and obvious.  Maybe that’s not nice, but if you put it out there, you’re basically giving me permission to laugh at you.

So, read what you’re writing because someone may finally come along and tell you what a psycho you are…and then what will you do?

Comfortable Means Vulnerable

One of the biggest mistakes in life is getting too comfortable.

Even in the best of relationships, getting too comfortable can set you up for a fall. When you get too comfortable you make yourself vulnerable. There’s nothing wrong with trusting people enough to take that risk. That’s what trust is. But, putting yourself in that position can have consequences. Getting comfortable with people isn’t a bad thing, but you have to always make sure you have your life vest handy so you don’t drown because you’ve become comfortable.

Too Much…or Not Enough

It’s very strange to grow up with a father who said “I love you” throughout your life & a mother who only said it to you when you were a child. Thankfully, I took my father’s queue when it came to love.

Why are people afraid to say it? Is it some kind of a pride thing? Do they think it will make them vulnerable? I’ve never understood what is so difficult about saying it, assuming you actually mean it. Yes, there are those who say “I love you” simply because it is something they think they are ‘supposed’ to say…particularly at church. They don’t really mean it. Love is simply a word they’ve been taught to say and repeat like a programmed robot. I’ve just never understood what’s so difficult about telling someone you love them when you actually mean it.

I have never told anyone I love them if I don’t.  I’ve also never been afraid to say it. Yes, love can make you vulnerable. People can and have taken advantage of my love. But, I’d rather be someone who takes that chance and says what they feel than someone who holds it in.  I always wished there were more people who told me they loved me, which I guess is why I say it as much as I do now. I WANT people to know that I love them and I don’t see anything wrong with it.  Most people WANT to know that they are loved.  Is there anyone who DOESN’T want to know that?

Some may think I say it too much.  Maybe my love isn’t worth as much as someone else who might say it, but that’s not the point.  I’d rather live knowing I’ve said the most important words while someone is living rather than saying it only when I’m standing at a funeral when it’s too late. Love means nothing to the dead and buried. The living need it more than they would ever let anyone know. So, I’d rather say it too much than not enough…just in case someone I love needs to hear it.

Character and Mis-Assumptions

Nothing in this world is guaranteed. All that we really have is our good name aka our character.

Everything we do determines our character. That’s why it’s important to live a REAL life rather than the life we wish we could live.

Everyone wants to be loved, accepted, needed, etc. But, if we aren’t, then what? Do we stop living? Do we just end it all? Do we give up? No. The best we can do is be who we are even if it means living a life of loneliness. Sure, our character and who we are won’t necessarily keep us warm at night, but it WILL keep us honest to ourselves.

Wanting things in life doesn’t mean we’ll get them. You can try to do what makes you happy and be disappointed over and over again because other people want different things. Just because spending time around someone makes you happy doesn’t mean that spending time around you makes THEM happy. It’s a common mis-assumption. We get so excited about things and then things not only don’t turn out like we expect, they make us miserable, in fact.

We believe what we want to believe. However, what it all boils down to is trying to do your best to stay true to who YOU are despite how others (even friends) feel about you. No one can take your character away.

Delusions of Friendship

“Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest… It’s about who came, and never left your side.”

Time means nothing when it comes to friendship. You can know someone for 20+ years and realize too late that you meant nothing to them.

I’ve never been the kind of person that asks for anything from friends. I just don’t. That being said, when you’re friends with someone you expect that when things are at their worst, they are going to be there for you. That seems a BASIC of friendship to me, not an ‘extra’, especially from ‘friends’ you’ve known half your life.

When my Dad was diagnosed with terminal Esophageal Cancer in January 2008, I called my oldest friend and left a message for him to call me back. I told him my Dad had been diagnosed with cancer and that I really needed to talk to him about it. He never called. I called again a couple of weeks later, left another message, and still no call, from him or his wife. I never heard from him.

My Dad was given 6-8 months life expectancy, but 3 months after diagnosis he was gone. Messages went out from a mutual friend to ALL my friends and, not only did my oldest friend not show up to the visitation or the funeral, but I never heard from him at all. No phone call. No card. No email. Nothing. I had also been close to his brother and his wife, as I watched their children many times and I heard nothing from them either. There were other friends I didn’t hear from as well.

It’s interesting because I had always been there for my friends, especially my oldest friend. When he was diagnosed with cancer, went through chemotherapy, then went into remission, I was there. When his mom, whom I was really close to, died, I was there. When he found love and got married, I was there. It was that way for ALL of the friends who weren’t there for me when I needed them the most. My Dad meant EVERYTHING to me. To lose him was devastating. Realizing that none of my oldest friends loved me (or my Dad) enough to be there for me this ONE time, was heart-breaking.

I saw him 2 months after my Dad passed at a wedding for a mutual friend. I almost didn’t go to the wedding because I knew he’d be there and it was so soon after Dad had died, I didn’t know how I’d deal with seeing him. I didn’t talk to him or even look at him. I couldn’t. He came up to me during the reception and asked how I was, and that’s it. I certainly wasn’t going to tell him how I REALLY was. I wasn’t going to make a scene or fall apart. So, I put on a smile, said “Fine”, and that was that. He didn’t say he was sorry for not calling. He didn’t say he was sorry for not being there for me. He didn’t say sorry for anything. He had the opportunity to potentially save a friendship, but I realized there was no friendship to save and he never really was my friend. It’s still heart-numbing to me how you can know someone so long, believe they’ll be there for you when it really matters, then they’re not and they have no consciousness about the hurt they cause and they don’t care. That’s about as far from friendship as you can get without being an enemy.

In a way, I guess it’s partly my fault. I should’ve seen the signs earlier…and they were there once I started to look back. I was dumb enough to believe that those friends ‘loved’ me because they kept saying it. But, to them, they were just words…meaningless words with no action behind them. Do I regret all those years? No. Even though I really wasted my time on people who were users, it led to a valuable lesson about being careful who you trust your heart to. Friends are always going to let you down, they aren’t perfect. But, when your friends aren’t there when you’re hurting the most…that’s the true test. Unfortunately, a lot of them failed that one, at least with me. I have no doubt that to some of their other friends they are the ‘best’. I just didn’t pass their criteria.

I’m thankful that God brought other friends in my life to help me get through such a hard time. If I hadn’t had them to pick up the pieces where my other ‘friends’ didn’t, I really don’t know where I’d be right now. 20+ years of friendships mean nothing if you can’t deliver. 20+ years doesn’t make you a great friend. Anyone can be around for 20 years. You actually have to have a heart and soul to be a friend. Some people missed that line, I guess.

The Panic Bubble

It’s difficult to be around people who panic about EVERYTHING. I just don’t get it. I understand people have immediate reactions to things that happen, but I don’t understand the concept of LIVING in a panic bubble.

I’ll admit, when it comes to driving on icy roads, I DO panic. I’ve had horrible experiences with it and I will not drive on icy roads if I can help it. It’s terrifying to me. Isolated incidents are one thing, but panicking about EVERYTHING is no way to live.

Particular people drive me crazy with their panic. Every time something bad happens or something bad is potentially going to happen, they go on and on with their worry. They just can’t help themselves and they won’t shut up.

God has always taken care of me, so I don’t spend my life living in panic mode. I know people who DON’T believe in God and they don’t panic either. I know there are things I can’t control, but panicking about them only makes things worse. It makes it worse for not only yourself but for others around you who have to listen to you. If you want to live your life in a constant state of panic, have at it. However, there is no need to try to drag the rest of us into that life.

I Believe

I Believe

I believe that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe that you can do something in an instant that will give you a heartache for life.

I believe that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.  It may be the last time you see them.

I believe that you can keep going, long after you can’t.

I believe that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I believe that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I believe that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I believe that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I believe that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I believe that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I believe that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I believe that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret.  It could change your life forever.

I believe that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

I believe that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out, you will find the strength to help.

I believe that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

~Author Unknown

My personal additions:

I believe that just because you may not be 100% accepted by your friends, doesn’t mean you aren’t “acceptable”.

I believe that just because you believe the lies others tell, doesn’t mean you’re stupid.  It just means you’re too trusting.

I believe that others not believing in you doesn’t give you an excuse to not believe in yourself.

What is a Friend?

What is a Friend?

A friend is someone who tells you what they think even though you may not want to hear it….they know that you NEED to hear it and love you enough to tell you.

A friend is someone who calls for no reason…even when you may not be in the mood to talk to anyone.

A friend is someone who encourages you to be who YOU are and not who other people want you to be.

A friend is someone you can trust…someone you can tell anything to without fear.

A friend is someone who listens to you even when you sound ridiculous.

A friend is someone that takes time to get to know you…someone who truly cares about what is going on with YOU when it’s so much easier to be selfish.

A friend is someone who can take criticism and not be offended.

Most of all, a friend is someone you can feel at home with….someone who comforts when you need comforting, scolds you when you need scolding, makes you laugh when you need to laugh, and loves you at ALL times…even when you are at your most unlovable moments.