When I was growing up, I never cared what people thought of me. I was the nerdy girl in glasses who was basically a loner most of her life. I had friends I played with when I was younger and my Dad always said I never met a stranger, but nothing really ‘stuck’ much when it came to friends for me. I just always wanted to be nice to everyone whether we were friends or not.
As I got older, I was never a part of any cliques in school. I was still the nerdy girl with glasses and the teacher’s pet. I liked being the teacher’s pet, although I wasn’t the teacher’s pet that kissed ass. I just liked grading papers and helping. I was always the helper. My 4th grade teacher was pregnant at the end of my 4th grade year and invited me to spend a week at her house that summer. I remember spending it helping out with her new baby boy. She also bought me a yellow dress and shoes and took me to a children’s ballet. The next year, a teacher of mine heard me sing in the talent show and decided to start a school choir…because of me. When you’re that young, it feels really good to feel like adults respect you that much.
In high school, I was still a nerdy girl with glasses and became the girl the popular kids picked on. It was a little mean, but not in the way that some kids got picked on. I was the ugly, nerdy girl so most of it was as much of the popular guys embarrassing each other as it was about embarrassing me. One guy would say “Hey, Todd wants to go out with you”. Todd would blush and get upset and say “No, I don’t!”. Other ugly, awkward girls like me who were teased would go cower in a corner and cry. I was NEVER going to be that girl. Honestly, the teasing didn’t make me want to cry anyway. I found it amusing for some reason. I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t hurt my feelings, but I never felt like crying…not even when people I thought were actually friends of mine decided to get in on the joke.
To be continued….